Preparing Kids to Stay with a Sitter

by Emily Wierenga

The memory of my son's tears as we left him with the sitter threatened to cut short our much-needed date night. But giving up this special time with my husband was not the solution.

Instead, we needed to find ways to help our child transition smoothly into the care of our trusted sitter. Here are some techniques we found that make that transition easier:

We talk about it. We mention our plans to our son throughout the day, saying things such as, "Tonight Carrie (the sitter) is coming over to spend time with you while Mommy and Daddy go on a date." Making sure Aiden understands that Carrie will read his favorite bedtime story, and we will be home when he wakes is reassuring to him.

We involve our child. We ask Aiden how he feels about his sitter coming over and playing with him. This gives him a chance to work through questions and reaffirms that his feelings matter to us. We also help him make a card or a gift for Carrie, and he looks forward to her arrival so he can give it to her.

We allow transition time. My husband and I have found it helpful to ask the sitter to arrive half an hour before we leave. This gives her a chance to interact with Aiden while we're still around. It shows our child that we trust this individual, and he can, too.

We maintain our child's routine. We provide a baby-sitter checklist that includes Aiden's evening routine and ask Carrie to stick to it as much as possible. The familiar schedule, which always ends with her reading Aiden's favorite bedtime story, helps our son feel more at ease.

Throughout each step, we strive to maintain a positive attitude and tone of voice. A little preparation goes a long way toward making the transition smoother for every member of our family. Now date night is a time we all look forward to.