Potty Training Tips

Most children are ready to be potty trained between 18 months old and their third birthday. While starting too soon can set up a child for failure, beginning too late creates problems as well. Missing the 18- to 36-month window can make learning difficult because the habit of spontaneous elimination becomes instinctive. Late potty training can also turn into a control issue for the increasingly independent preschooler.

How do you know if your child is ready?

Two developmental factors are important for success. First, your child must be able to exercise some control over his bladder and bowels. You can tell that your child is developing this ability when he wakes up dry, stays dry for a few hours, goes into a corner to fill his diaper or announces, "I'm going pee!" Second, your child needs to have the ability to follow simple instructions and to pull his pants down.

Once you know your child is ready, it's up to you to initiate training. Announce that your child is now a "big boy" or "big girl" and ready to do away with diapers. Then pick a two-week time frame when you can be home with your toddler and focus on toilet training.

For the first day or two, plan to be home without interruption, preferably with older siblings at school or occupied. You may want to use resources such as toilet-training picture books to reinforce the concepts.

One mistake that complicates and prolongs toilet training is stopping and starting. Once you have determined that your child is ready, don't give up if the first few days are frustrating. Also, avoid using disposable training pants — except at bedtime. Cotton training pants are more effective at letting both him and you know immediately when he has an accident.

The journey may have challenges and setbacks, such as a few soiled outfits or an "I have to go right now!" when you are stuck in traffic. During these times, be careful how you respond. When your child has an accident, ask his help in cleaning up, keep a positive attitude, and review what your child should do next time.

Above all, avoid a power struggle, which exists when your child's will is pitted against yours. Some children figure out how to push your buttons by refusing to toilet train. If you find yourself in this situation, be careful not to react emotionally. Instead, calmly emphasize the consequences for stubbornness and cooperation.

—Dr. Juli Slattery

Each child is different. Your potty-training experience may include varying methods to achieve results. Use your discretion in determining what is best for your child. Consider the following tips as you develop a potty-training strategy for your toddler.

Teach General Hygiene

Instill hygienic routines as part of your training program. Little girls should be taught to wipe from front to back in order to reduce the risk of bladder infections. Washing hands with soap after using the potty should become a habit. When your child uses public facilities, show him what he can and can't touch and how to use the faucet, soap, paper towels and hand dryers.

Give Them Practice

My 3-year-old, Stephen, needed a diaper change, but I opted not to retrieve a clean diaper from the baby's room and risk waking his sibling.

Instead, I cleaned Stephen and put his pants back on without a diaper. I told him he could practice being a big boy while his sister napped. The experiment was successful, so I continued this routine and even started prolonging his practices. After two months Stephen was potty trained.

—Nicole Grunenwald

Offer Rewards

Try filling a clear container with M&M's and place it near the bathroom — visible but out of toddler reach. Each time your child sits on the potty, help her wash her hands, then allow her to choose one M&M's candy. If she uses the potty, let her pick two M&M's after washing her hands.

—Michelle LaRowe, nanny and mother of two

Schedule Potty Times

When my son, Grant, was 2 and a half, he had accidents because he was too busy playing. One day I set an egg timer, and when the buzzer went off, I had my son sit on the toilet. On day two, Grant heard the buzzer but was building a block tower. So I used another household gadget, the remote control.

I said, "Grant, point this remote at your tower and push the pause button. Then after you come back from the potty, you can push play on your tower." Grant never tired of that game, even after he was toilet trained.

—Katrina Arbuckle

Keep Them Seated

When my daughter, Susan, was 24 months old, I found that she would stay seated on the potty if she had a book. So I gathered some of Susan's favorites and put them in a basket for her to enjoy only at potty time.

—Brenda Nixon

I kept a potty purse in the bathroom. This purse contained special toys for my child to play with only while on the potty.

—Jen Bueler

Let Them Feel Discomfort

Abbie was almost 3 when we had gotten to the place where potty training was going well except for the occasional accident. As a solution, I had her wear training pants over her big girl underwear. This way, accidents could be contained but Abby would still feel the discomfort of wet underwear. Three days later, she was dry for good.

—Laura Sassi

~ See more articles for parents of 0- to 3-year-olds. ~