Shoe Tying Through Independent Learning

by Nancy Julien Kopp

Kirk still couldn't tie his shoes, a must-do for kindergarten. I worked with him daily. He knew the steps; he just couldn't get his fingers to work right. He grew frustrated when I tried to help.

Exasperated, I tried something different. I showed my son a calendar with the day before school circled on it. Pointing to the circle, I told him, "You must tie your shoes before this day." He nodded and walked away.

As I crossed off the days, I asked if he wanted help practicing. "No," he'd say. Finally, with only one day to go, Kirk said, "Mom, I can tie my shoes now." He demonstrated to perfection, beaming at my praise.

The incident taught me that kids often just need space and time to finish learning something on their own.


This article appeared in the January/February 2012 issue of Thriving Family magazine and was titled "Shoestring Deadline." Copyright © 2012 by Nancy Julien Kopp. ThrivingFamily.com.

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