To go deeper on the topic of women and fear, see What Fear Robs From Your Marriage and The Whisper of a Mom's Fears.
"Sheila, what is this?" my doctor asked.
I wasn't sure what to say.
"When was this X-ray taken?"
I thought back to that night a few weeks earlier when I woke up in terrible pain at about 4 a.m. I woke my husband, Barry, and asked him to take me to the emergency room. The doctor on call told me that I had a kidney stone, and explained that it was small and I should be able to pass it in a few hours. Then he noticed something else — a dark, shaded area on the X-ray — and suggested that I have my own doctor check it out.
Honestly, I meant to call my doctor, but I forgot.
Now, as I sat in my elegant paper robe waiting for my annual physical, that shaded area had raised its head once again. I had remembered to bring the film with me — more to show off my kidney stone than anything else.
My doctor ran some more tests. Then she told me that I had a tumor that had grown significantly in the last few weeks, and she didn't like the look of it. She immediately scheduled surgery. I drove home that day with so many thoughts and questions fighting for space in my heart and mind.
Some of you have been there. Some of you may be there right now, wondering
If this is cancer, what will happen to my family?
How will my husband and son cope if I don't survive this battle?
I pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store and turned the engine off. Remembering the words from Psalm 91:1, "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty," I leaned on the Lord as fear threatened to overtake me.
The Word of God reminds us of constant truth, no matter what may seem to be true for a season. God is in control, no matter how things appear. God is bigger than our fears. God is more committed to our children and our husbands than we could ever be.
Christ promises us, "In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).
After surgery, I awoke from the anesthetic and my doctor explained that although the tumor was bigger than she had anticipated, it was benign.
I thanked her and allowed myself the luxury of a few tears.
The greater truth, girls, is that whether we get the outcome we pray for, or the one that we fear, God is still faithful. As we lean on Him, we can confidently say with the psalmist, "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you" (Psalm 56:3).
Sheila Walsh is the author of The Storm Inside and The Shelter of God's Promises. Her passion is to dive deep into God's Word to help women live rooted in faith.
Copyright © 2014 by Sheila Walsh. Used by permission. ThrivingFamily.com.
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